Tsk Tsk

Not to sound cliché

but you brighten my day

I'd say you were sunshine

but we both prefer the rain

I'm amazed

I know I swoon in vain

because you see past me

but maintain

whatever we have

because you get laid

and I don't blame you

for the precedent

I set

it's not like I walk away

I wouldn't even know how

essentially you have it made

I can't feel played

when I did this to myself

why would I expect

you to make an effort now

The thought of severing

ties hurts

I weigh the worth

of an ultimatum

I rehearse

verbatim

exactly what to say

but when I have the chance

I create some

reason to wait

I play dumb

I tell myself I'm okay

that I'm fine with this

until I get home and it hits

like a sucker punch

once the high from you wears off

you're a damn drug

I want to be with you again

because it's never enough

I try detoxing

by not talking

to you for days at a time

but I always cave

because I can't fight

you being on my mind

My excitement

is short lived

when I'm reminded

it's one-sided

this unrequited

type thing

has me divided

I don't want to lose you

but I'm losing myself in the process

this shit is depressing

wrestling with my demons

and stifling my feelings

this mess

has me obsessing

over my insecurities

like is it me or did I

take you on as a project

to deflect

from my own damage

as if healing you

will distract me

from the fact

that I haven't

am I attracted to

someone as jaded as you

for the challenge

as though winning your affection

would raise my value

or be redeeming

but it's seeming

it's more demeaning

than anything

and yet I choose to stay

for the time being